Five Questions I DONT PREFER ANSWERING

Yes, the top questions which end up in the dumps. And to make matters worse, I keep getting them every-other-day (almost :D)

1. What da machchan. Did you get a girl in america??

- If I had, what the hell am i doing writing a blog on a Sunday afternoon!

2. So, you are from India? Could you speak something in Indian?

- Sure. Do you want some Asian thrown in too?

3. What time is it there?

- Definitely not a time to answer that!!

4. Kanna, how is the USA? Did you talk to chinni paati's sister's cousin's husbands niece?

- Does she look good? Otherwise not a chance :D

5. So you cook on your own huh?

- Pretty much. And if life does not interest you, you're welcome to try my cooking.

Of Jeens, T-Sharts, Tchoo-Tchoo's and my attempts at hindi

Iv never been a fan of shopping. Infact, thats something I have never enjoyed doing. If you ask me, shopping of all types should be restricted to a maximum time span of 10 minutes. I am reminded of my valiant attempts at it when I visited my aunt at mumbai, a few weeks before i left for the USA. We were at this area popularly known as the "fashion street" in one of the most posh locales in bombay. This place has everything from tom-toms to shorts to Naik-e's ( no, not the marathi surname) to bling-blings to what not. All im trying to do is buy some keychains and compliments for a few friends back in Madras. So my cousin sis and I wander around and voila, one of the shop owners jumps up to me and says "Bolo Jeens Bolo, Shaarts Bolo". I admit I am not that good at colloquial hindi, being the perfectionist :D. So like any dumb, hindi-illiterate I interpret that as the merchant asking me to say "Jeans" and "T-shirt". And to make matters worse, the guy makes this weird sound to gain our attention, like a rat trapped in a bait. The lil' squeaky sound which cyclists make when theyre too lazy to ring their bell and ask you to move out of their way. God i hate that, I REALLY DO. Its only after we reach home do i get to know what the merchant ( I wouldn call him that. All he had was a bunch of hangers and some clothes strewn over them) actually meant. And I felt like a total retard. Another classic case of shopping blues.

There are times I have tried to be the slick shopper, always bargaining for better deals and trying to outsmart the shopkeeper guy. In vain. There was this time when my entire college class went to Delhi for a tour. I had been to Delhi before, in my ninth grade. We had this great bargainer of a teacher who accompanied us. And she bought a 550 bucks worth trolley bag for 220 bucks. Inspirational indeed!! So i tried my luck with the whole bargaining thing.

ME: Yeh kithna hai bhaisaab. (YES I SPOKE IN HINDI :D. But i will translate it for you poor illiterates:))
SK: 750 Rupees
ME: Its too much. thoda kam karo.
SK: Theek hai 730 rupees.
ME: :| .. wow how less. No no, i want it for 300 Rs. (Trying out the Teacher's Tactics)
SK: No response. Blunt look.
ME: What do you say?
SK: Wont work.
ME: Its worth only 250. Im paying 300 for it.
SK: Looks like you dont know about the market. Please leave the shop.
ME: DAMN!!!! This is not happening.

Thus ended my first and last attempt at bargaining. Fortunately, I had my friend, Namratha, who came to my rescue and managed to get me a similar deal in another shop. God bless her :)

For all you shopkeepers who drove me away. SCREW YOU GUYS, Im Going Home :D

sayonara, mere yaara