Caffeine Wars

Its that time of the year again. The beautiful fall colors have set upon the student community; Classes in full swing; The chilly breeze; and not to mention, the sleepy students! Damn you down comforters, you win again.

Its that time of the year again. The pot of coffee in our apartment is finished even before we start; every other person walking on the street has a starbucks/caribou cup in their hand, even if its empty :D; there are more students sleeping in class than ever before and the professor knows it is an absolutely natural phenomenon, coz thats what he is going to do after class; my room mate buys a bag of coffee (worth $10) because he gets a cup of coffee (worth $3) free with the bag; multiple alarms between 6:30 and 8:30 save your day; you start loathing your decision to register for that 9 AM class 'coz thats when you notice your alarm did not go off ( maybe it DID and you were far too sleepy to notice it).

Its that time of the year again. Its the end of the Fall. The beginning of the Caffeine Wars.

Time for a quick nap before my next meeting!

Adios

Five Questions I DONT PREFER ANSWERING

Yes, the top questions which end up in the dumps. And to make matters worse, I keep getting them every-other-day (almost :D)

1. What da machchan. Did you get a girl in america??

- If I had, what the hell am i doing writing a blog on a Sunday afternoon!

2. So, you are from India? Could you speak something in Indian?

- Sure. Do you want some Asian thrown in too?

3. What time is it there?

- Definitely not a time to answer that!!

4. Kanna, how is the USA? Did you talk to chinni paati's sister's cousin's husbands niece?

- Does she look good? Otherwise not a chance :D

5. So you cook on your own huh?

- Pretty much. And if life does not interest you, you're welcome to try my cooking.

Of Jeens, T-Sharts, Tchoo-Tchoo's and my attempts at hindi

Iv never been a fan of shopping. Infact, thats something I have never enjoyed doing. If you ask me, shopping of all types should be restricted to a maximum time span of 10 minutes. I am reminded of my valiant attempts at it when I visited my aunt at mumbai, a few weeks before i left for the USA. We were at this area popularly known as the "fashion street" in one of the most posh locales in bombay. This place has everything from tom-toms to shorts to Naik-e's ( no, not the marathi surname) to bling-blings to what not. All im trying to do is buy some keychains and compliments for a few friends back in Madras. So my cousin sis and I wander around and voila, one of the shop owners jumps up to me and says "Bolo Jeens Bolo, Shaarts Bolo". I admit I am not that good at colloquial hindi, being the perfectionist :D. So like any dumb, hindi-illiterate I interpret that as the merchant asking me to say "Jeans" and "T-shirt". And to make matters worse, the guy makes this weird sound to gain our attention, like a rat trapped in a bait. The lil' squeaky sound which cyclists make when theyre too lazy to ring their bell and ask you to move out of their way. God i hate that, I REALLY DO. Its only after we reach home do i get to know what the merchant ( I wouldn call him that. All he had was a bunch of hangers and some clothes strewn over them) actually meant. And I felt like a total retard. Another classic case of shopping blues.

There are times I have tried to be the slick shopper, always bargaining for better deals and trying to outsmart the shopkeeper guy. In vain. There was this time when my entire college class went to Delhi for a tour. I had been to Delhi before, in my ninth grade. We had this great bargainer of a teacher who accompanied us. And she bought a 550 bucks worth trolley bag for 220 bucks. Inspirational indeed!! So i tried my luck with the whole bargaining thing.

ME: Yeh kithna hai bhaisaab. (YES I SPOKE IN HINDI :D. But i will translate it for you poor illiterates:))
SK: 750 Rupees
ME: Its too much. thoda kam karo.
SK: Theek hai 730 rupees.
ME: :| .. wow how less. No no, i want it for 300 Rs. (Trying out the Teacher's Tactics)
SK: No response. Blunt look.
ME: What do you say?
SK: Wont work.
ME: Its worth only 250. Im paying 300 for it.
SK: Looks like you dont know about the market. Please leave the shop.
ME: DAMN!!!! This is not happening.

Thus ended my first and last attempt at bargaining. Fortunately, I had my friend, Namratha, who came to my rescue and managed to get me a similar deal in another shop. God bless her :)

For all you shopkeepers who drove me away. SCREW YOU GUYS, Im Going Home :D

sayonara, mere yaara

Grizzly at it. YET AGAIN

As if existing mockery wasnt enough, our hero is at it again. This time at a political press conference in Dindugal district, Madurai. Watch the video below to experience cinema and politics mixing in a rather unpleasant way.

Those of you who do not understand Tamizh (NO, I WILL NOT CALL IT TAMIL) are surely missing out on the time of your life. Trust me, I wouldnt be surprised if people actually develop an image that Indian politics is this bad. Our hero is in a press conference when one of the reporters asks him why the turnout to his campaign meetings are lesser than his rival. This pisses off our hero so much that he loses all control and blasts the poor reporter guy left, right and center. The whole damn episode comes off as a very cheap attempt at gaining attention, not to mention the rehearsed-feel english sentences thrown in occasionally :).

Funny no doubt. But is this cheap stunt doing any good to Indian politics? Definitely not, apart from further mockery in movies and talk shows. When the entire episode could have been ended with a simple "Come to my meeting and you will know", a lengthy and useless rhetoric follows, spurred on by some foolish supporters waiting to shout their guts out at the slightest signal. Watch the guy standing behind our hero, who goes into a hysteric clapping spree when hero calls himself a "Tamizhan.. Neruppu (fire)". Is this some kind of scene from the next big Rajnikanth movie? Has Tamil Nadu politics degraded so much to be reduced to some sort of publicity stunt? Only the next election will tell.

On a lighter note, watch our hero's ( His name is TR by the way) videos on youtube when you find the time. He is a gifted actor and a great guy no doubt. But honestly, all talk and no action makes jack a sucky politician :D

Adios...

Dei dubagooru; inna pandra?

For the uninitiated, that was a sentence spoken in authentic "madras tamizh" :). First things first, my apologies for running such a dormant blog. As if it matters; you guys have better things to do anyway!! :). Well what do i say, Time ( a lot of it) and location ( read forsaken desert) have forced me to take the forgotten path once again after nearly 6 months.

And for those who are wondering why the hell this post is titled the way it is, heres why. During one of my extremely-bored-super-tired moments here, i ended up watching "this" tamil show on youtube. And boy, was i reminded of my good old days when "madras" tamizh was the in-thing :D.. And i couldnt resist posting some of my favorites here. If you already know, please bear with me. If you dont, ask around and you will know.

1. Mama, naastha thunniya? ( Dude, done with lunch/dinner/whatever?)
Usually outside the college canteen or someplace.

2. Somma landhu kudukaadha da domaru ( dont pain me you moron :D)

3. Naa onniyum pannala, nee mooditu kada. ( I didnt do it. You shut up)

4. Podango*** ( in reply to 2 :P)

5. Unna nambina, naaye nee andharbalti adichta ( I believed you and you messed up)

Standard dialog before assignment submissions!!

6. Inna da, sarakkadichtu mallandhutiya?
Heard you got sloshed yesterday?
And many, many more.
Its hard to believe that this hasnt caught up here in the US which, by the way, is being inhabited by tamils by the day. ( I fall in that category too. ;))

Bottom line, i miss chennai, oops, i mean MADRAS, and its lingo too much and cannot wait to get there in september. Till then,

inna maamu
kayandukkavaa :)